So, the hurdle of week one has come and gone, and it still seems very much like yesterday that this improbable scheme was hatched. After a much needed rest filled weekend I set out on improving and advancing from the previous week's lessons and gains. Again, I struggled with proper form and my significant lack of any real mass to build upon which was very frustrating. I don't like doing things wrong. I'd rather not do something than do it wrong, you know? The weigh-ins were also disappointing early on, because I had either lost previously gained weight or stayed dormant within a small fluctuation of less than a pound. At this point, any improvement is a big improvement for me. I'm an impatient person, and I'm also a realist. I'm always fully aware of the particulars of a situation, and why a set of emotions are accurate or inaccurate, but that doesn't stop my basic human urge to want and want NOW. Many people are of the opinion that good things come to those who wait, well, I'd argue that great things come to those who take them. I understand that this is a process, and even with the luxury of having a 12-week webavision show to really nail down the time frame I still find myself sometimes in near desperation for results. I have a great fear that we'll reach the finale of our experiment and I'll not be satisfied, not be complete. So, I tell myself to push myself as much as I can, to be as good as I can be during this time. I've come to terms that, like any good scripted drama, my adventure will have numerous ups and downs. In fact, you'll note that life often operates more like scripted drama than we would like to admit. Case in point: By the end of the week I had reached my largest weight as of yet, and I was very happy. Our initial time-line goal was to have me at 150lbs by Aug 3 (my birthday/website premiere) and now it looks like that is more than an achievable target. On the food front, I've been eating a large amount of the protein bars (many of which are really delicious), and drinking the protein milk shakes. No new "real foods", though. In truth, I'd prefer eating the bars and drinking the shakes than eating "real food" that I know I won't like anyway, but that doesn't help me in my quest to be able to eat a "normal" meal in a nice restaurant. One thing at a time, I guess. Oh, and Shane and I continued our work on Z's farm. Doing some good old fashioned work (and getting a tan, of course). Now, Nenad told me to find some old jeans to wear, and I did, and they're terrible and amazingly funny. We got some sold B-roll footage of me 'in action' to further my geek-tacular stereotype we've been building up so far, for dramatic purposes only I assure you. Those jeans will be semi-retired next week in favor of some equally hysterical 80's style jeans complete with rips (I think they were my old road-hockey jeans the more I think of it)! Kelly has been absolutely wonderful making the three of us lunch every day, and specifically putting up with my picky and slowness is greatly appreciated! This week was odd, where it started off fast and then wound up being quite slow and we were exhausted after staying up for to watch 'The Dark Knight' midnight IMAX screening (a fantastic movie, but surprisingly flawed and certainly not the modern masterpiece some are claiming it to be). Well, stay tuned true believers, things are good so far, hopefully next week things really start to heat up!
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2 comments:
I am really digging this show/blog. At 24 years of age, I, too, am skinny, weighing in at about 135lbs. I have tried everything and have pretty much given up and accepted what I do have (hey I'm alive and healthy, I can't ask for more!). The hardest part for me is that I am also a vegetarian, and have been for a number of years, and it is a very important thing to me. I am interested in gaining a little more muscle mass as I feel I am very weak (even though I work in a warehouse) and am noticing that I come home in more pain day after day. Please let us know how you feel about the newly gained mass and how it helps you (if it does) in ways that doesn't involve chasing sleazy women (trust me, the only girls who like massive dudes are the "babes" in that video who listen to too much Pussycat Dolls).
Hey,
Glad to hear you are enjoying the show! I know exactly where you're coming from man, I was ready to give up. I don't like being skinny, I mean, you can squeeze through small places and stuff like that, but really those perks aren't much to write home about. I'd encourage you not to give up. I know it's hard, and can be REALLY hard, where it isn't even about your body anymore, it's really an internal battle that you have to overcome. Money can always be a factor as well, which sometimes takes personal trainers and gyms out of the equation. I applaud your decision to be a vegetarian, I think it is very noble. Have you discussed with your doctor ways in which you can increase your weight with your choice? Is taking protein shakes and bars unethical in terms of vegetarianism? I know both those things help me a lot, in both gaining weight and feeling healthier. You could start by doing simple at-home exercises an hour a night before you go to sleep (it will also likely make your sleeps better), even simple things like pushups and crunches. I downloaded some exercise videos a while back and they helped! The weight I have gained so far has made me feel better about myself totally, and the food I'm eating makes my body more energized, too. Even though it's not much of a change, it feels like a lot to me so far and has given me confidence because I know I am doing something positive for myself! We're not trying to change who I am on the inside, we're just trying to improve my physical appearance and health, so stay true to who you are no matter what happens!
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